Monthly Archives: April 2011


AWESOME SONG! I wonder why i’m not into the newer Kpop groups? :p

Had a great time in SOT today. Have been busy with assignment the last two days and did not have enough sleep. Was super tired this morning. Thank God for His grace that no matter how tired i am, i’ve not fell asleep in class yet. I think it’s a supernatural grace that God bestowed on me, i’ve never felt sleepy when listening to sermons/preachings(why can’t it apply to lectures?).

This week we’re having lessons on Gift of the Holy Spirit :)
That means there will be practical sessions to move in the Holy Spirit. Today was one such practical lesson. Today, Pastor Bobby taught on prophecy. While i was ministering to a sister, i felt heat all through my back. It was quite an unexpected and amazing feeling. When i started speaking, there is this heat that started spreading through my whole back. And just as suddenly as it came, it left when i finished “prophesying”. It’s in “” because i don’t really know if what i said was accurate. But at that moment, that did not matter to me as i was still marveling over that heat that i felt.

I think i’m increasing in faith! How can i not be, being in SOT, in God’s presence everyday. I use to really fear(?) when we are to exercise moving in the Spirit in cell group or zone PM. But now when Pastor say that we are going to practice, i feel peace in my heart:)

There is much room for improvement though. That’s why SOT is such a good training ground. It is where mistakes can be made and where we learn from out mistakes. And there is always an atmosphere of expectancy and faith! Where better to learn?! I think i “prophesy” too much, i “talked” too much. At first it was really good but i wanted to say more and somehow move out of what the Holy Spirit wanted to say. Sometimes short is good. Must learn to stop at the right time.

Hwaiting! :3

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Communication…

Blogging again from my phone. Went out with my cousin and her best friend today. It somehow hit me today how important conversations are. God made us to have relationships, to communicate with people. We are all interdependent, there is no person that can live on their own.

I would say that i’m a very self-centered person. I do things according to my feelings. Not just self-centered but also self-contained. There is little that I purposely share with anyone. I’m not against sharing with people but I also don’t ring someone out of the blue just to share my feelings. Living like that, it can be lonely sometimes because when i have something to share, i find that there is no one to turn to.

Don’t go saying that I can always share with you(whoever you are). What I need is not a one-sided relationship where I do all the sharing and you don’t give anything truly personal.

What is friendship? Who is a friend? It is not one-sided. He/she is not just someone who will share your joy, pain and sorrows. He/she will also share his/her joy, pain and sorrow with you. Which is something that is rare.

In the world, people just wants to talk about themselves, it’s all about meeting their needs. But in church, people just wants to help others, meeting people’s needs. No matter on which side, there is no genuine friendship. So before telling me that I can share with you, make sure that you can share with me.

I’m not saying this harshly nor am I feeling very emo/depress about this topic. I just feel that I’ve never really had a true heartfelt relationship with anyone is church. Maybe once upon a time but somehow that once upon a time doesn’t seem real. And I wonder if it is just a trial, a time when we want to build that relationship but failed. Or did it just fail on my part?

I do regret at this moment, making this blog public. Yet what done cannot be undone. “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Since it is already so, i’m not going to suddenly change my blog’s url. Yet I cannot abandon this blog nor not write what I truly feel because i’ve grown attached to this blog. I started it with a purpose and if i’m not truthful here then I cannot be truthful anywhere else.

I’ve wanted to update my blog since Saturday. Just that I didn’t have the chance in writing it. So this is really two post in one. So it might be a little long.

Someone asked me: “Why are you here?” My answer was a simple smile. (I’m making this really general, that’s the thing about making my blog public)

I ask myself the same questions. “Why am I here?”

It is three questions in one:

(1) Why am I here and not there? (被忽略了吗?)

(2) Why am i still here? (为什么还在原地踏步?)

(3) Am I even suppose to be here? (真的属于这里吗?)

I’ve never really felt insecure or a lack of confidence till I came to church. I know for most people, it is the opposite. I think it is not a bad or good thing. There is just always more I can do yet I don’t really want to do. It is quite stupid really, knowing that I can just do it and feel better but i choose not to do it. Yet I do things base on feelings and emotions. I cannot force myself to do things I don’t feel with my heart. If it is not from the heart then where does the doing come from. This is really confusing, this paragraph doesn’t really make sense or link in anyway, it is just random stuff that comes to my mind together.

I think i’m too tired to continue with this post. It will cease to make sense if I continue writing. So good night to all :)

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Love…

This a season of love. The message for the church for the season is “I CHOOSE LOVE!” Yet, how many of us really are doers of the word.

I was reading One Piece yesterday. Somehow, what Jinbe said on the last page kept poping out in my head. He said, “So this is the “love” of humans?”

I ask myself, is that our love, is that all. I speak for myself. I confess that i’m not a very loving person. Something happened today that made me truly realise how little my love for people is, something very small yet it made me think a lot about the word “love”. 

When we say or shout in church, “I choose love!”, do we really mean it? If we do, how can we quarrel and start calling each names once we end service? How can we mock(even if only in our hearts) others, even if the other party did something very childish, where is the compassion? My love is less than that of an eleven year old.

I know most of us are all still “work in progress” yet it somehow just saddens me (is this considered Godly sorrows?). Not saying that everyone doesn’t love enough. I mean i’m in church! There are so many people that i know who are full of love for people but how much trials and tribulation did they have to go through for that brokeness and compassion. Sometimes i wish that God would just program us yet love without choice is not love.

I started writing this post while i was on my way to tuition. I was quite, hmmm…, depressed (not sure of what word to use) but now, after tuition, i’m super happy! :D So i have no idea how to contiune this post. Sorry to keep everyone hanging in my random thoughts but i’ll be ending my post here :p 

PS: We are called to love, not to like. Even if you don’t like someone, you still need to love him/her. Lets all work hard together, becoming more like Christ everyday :)

Hwaiting! :3

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Love for kdrama…

Typing this post on my lappy. Seems like i haven’t done this in a loooooooong time. Haha ^^

Changed my blogskin again. Wouldn’t say that i like it but i can’t find anything i like so i think this will do for now. I chose this one because it is simple and has the “comment” thingy(been looking for that ><).

So i was thinking if i should make this blog public public. I mean it is public(without password, searchable from google) but not public(haven’t told anyone the link to this blog yet).

Anyway, had been blogging most on SOT so this post will be a non-SOT post.

Seems like 2011 is a good year for kdrama. I’ve found 2-3 or maybe more of them that i wanna watch already(and they have not aired yet/just started airing in Korea). Apparently, my love for kdrama started in primary school. Looking back, i’m wondering why would a 10-11 year old watch and love such a sad story. My first kdrama, if i remembered correctly, is Autumn in My Heart(which started my love for Song Seung Hun and Won Bin), which is very very tragic. I don’t get me too :p

Well so just some random thoughts.

List of drama i’m wanna/gonna watch:
(1) Coffee House
(2) My Girlfriend is a Gumiho
(3) 49 days
(4) Do You Hear My Heart?
(5) Manny
(6) Baby-Faced Beauty

That seems like too much. I’ve lots of assignments to do! NOOOO! Seems like it will take me some time to finish my assignment, i mean dramas :p

PS: Please try commenting so that i know if it works. Thanks :)


He is God, my provider…

The law of the harvest works! You reap what you sow. I’m very inspired by Pastor Bobby, in all areas of his life. Last week, he shared his testimony on giving. To me, it is the most inspiring message for giving i’ve heard.

As a good student and Christian, i must not only be a hearer of the word but also a doer of the word. So last service, i applied what i heard :)

Saturday, service. Sunday, as it was 清明节, i went to 拜拜 with my family and relatives. That day, i received 3 blessings. Praise God :D

Today, my Mummy gave me a present! A new watch! XD

I’ve always love wearing watches. When i was in primary and secondary school, i wear my watch to school everyday. It just felt weird without a watch. But, when i got into poly, my watch stopped working and since then, i’ve stopped wearing watches.

I don’t know if you can understand. I feel super happy! I kept looking at my new watch and smiling to myself. It is like God has restored something. I’m not sure what it is yet but there is just some kind of restoration at work.

From today onwards, i’ll be wearing my new watch to school everyday!!! X)

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The art of worship…

Today Brother Poh came to teach the above lesson. Just some stuff that i caught:

(1) Worship involves the heart!

Don’t let worship be just a motion. It is not just words. Even if you sing a particular song 100 times, you can have a different revelation every time. It all depends on the attitude you have.

Worship is telling God, “Here is my heart, come and change it.”

(2) What is “singing in the spirit”?

It is where words alone are not enough to fully express the love you have for God that the spirit has to take over.

To me that is “Whoa!”

PS: typed it on facebook to be posted on Da Farm but somehow just couldn’t be posted :p


God is a god of new things…

This week marks the start of April and the second month of SOT :)

It also marks the start for clocking of ministry hours, bible reading and assignments.

Daniel shared last week that everyday is a “new day”. It is not just a season of moving to Suntec that marks a new day. Somehow that became a revelation for me. I was asking God something, i cannot remember what it was, but this answer i remembered.

Every single day we live is a new day. Every day we start a fresh. Yesterday might be good, might be bad but today is a new day. In a new day, in your today, start anew. If you weren’t living according to the bible yesterday, then do it today. You might not do the right things tomorrow. Yet everyday is a new day. Everyday we are growing and becoming more like Jesus. Life is a journey, it’s yesterday’s you that make you today’s you.

Pastor Kong said yesterday: “Plan as if Jesus will come back 100 years later, live as if Jesus is coming back tomorrow.”

So lets all live everyday as a new day for Christ :)

There is so much more i wanna write but i think i should just post this first. There will forever be no update if i kept trying to finish all i wanna share. Going through SOT, everyday there will be something to share and i haven’t updated for so long! Can you imagine the amount of post that is still stuck between me and my phone? :P